Live life like everything is a miracle or nothing is

I read a quote of Einstein once that said, “You can either live life like everything is a miracle or nothing is.”

Let me raise up a few questions on Love – Love isn’t a magic

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So you think you are in love?

You think your loved one loves you equally as you do?

How much do looks and outwardly appearance contribute to your notion of true love?

If you think looks are immaterial in true love, would you have fallen in love with the same person if you were blind  or if your partner had different looks?

Would you ever considering falling in love with the same person if he/she was an ugly duckling who is sexually unappealing?

Do you count the number of times you or your partner kept secrets from each other trying to hide each other’s attraction to other members of the opposite sex?

How many times have you avoided expressing truth about how you feel just to keep the relationship alive?

Besides being in love, have you ever fantasized about how your life could’ve been with some other person?

Do you have a past? If so, how hard do you try to suppress the thoughts of that person in your past?

Having moved on with your life, How many times have you dreamt of your ex and ignored the subconscious phenomena, considering it random or hoax?

What do you think your loved one’s reaction would be, if you reveal details about the most intimate things of your past love?

If your partner expresses that he/she is okay with your past, are you certain that it isn’t an act of pretension driven by selfish needs unknown to you?

Are you sure that your partner is completely transparent to you?

Do you really know the subtle difference between willingness to love and desperation to own a person?

Do you really believe that your life is going to be an accomplished sorrow-less fairy tale if you tie a knot with the one you love?

Are you sure that the fire of love which you experience in the present will not fizz out soon after your wedding?

I have so many questions to people in committed relationships. I agree some of them are merely hypothetical. Nevertheless, questions like this when put to self will provide deep insights into the nature of human bondage and emotions shared in a relationship with a loved one. Most people think that love is some kind of a magical feeling. Yes, it certainly is but also one must realize that love has its terms and conditions. Specially, when it comes to love between a man and woman, it is a hundred fold more complex because of the inherent lust that comes into play. In reality, all the magic and butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling in love is merely a subtle form of lust disguised in a delicate robe. This feeling is so delusive that it never exposes the true nature of lust that is latent within, thus misguiding the bearer that the fallacious magical tingling in the senses, itself is true love as it is unique.

 

I don’t condemn this magic totally because it is the sole element that differentiates love between a man and a woman from any other form of love. That being said, the biggest mistake that people commit is, they presume this magic as love, which in reality is not so. This magic is only an add on to love shared between a man and woman. The underlying true love is universal just like the love one has for his/her parents. It is uncomplicated and pure without any inhibitions. Unlike the magic, It doesn’t come instantaneously but develops over long periods of time. To witness true love, one must take a look at old married couples, who by the grace of time nurture a bond so full of love devoid of all the much hyped magic of their youth.

 

These days despite the so called true love that people claim, relationships break up sooner or later. Many a time, even couples being in relationships for longer periods of time also experience differences. Why so? It is purely because they are driven by the magic which is not true love. The magic itself being delusive hits us at a subconscious level and prompts the individuals to act in ways unnatural to their original behavior.

 

For example : When a guy wooing a woman learns of her specific likes and dislikes in music, arts or any other aspect, the magic would involuntarily prompt the guy’s mind to subconsciously attune itself in such a way that his likes and dislikes are aligned with that of the woman. Likewise the same applies for the woman too. This sort of a mental illusion follows for long periods of time. In due course of time, the magic fades because it was never real in the first place and people find it too hard to keep their original ideas, likes and dislikes suppressed. Once the original nature of one is evident to the other, they start fighting over the differences with words like,”You were never like this before. I loved the older version of you. You are a changed person now “blah blah blah. (Duh! bless these troubled souls.)

 

Unfortunately, this is the fate of relationships today. Even grown ups lack the maturity to understand the nuances of magic vs true love. One thing’s for certain. True love doesn’t come easy. It is only foolish to consider that true love is an easy catch. True love thrives on sheer bliss. It is synonymous with what you feel on a rainy day sitting in boredom listening to some good music. It is synonymous with what you feel when your mother gives you hot soup to sip when you are down with sickness. It is uncomplicated. It is pure. It is divine. It is unconditional. It neither thrills you nor make you quiver with butterflies in your stomach. It has no expectations except for the well being of the one loved. Does a loving mother expect anything from her child except for the child’s being happy?

 

Dear readers,

 

I therefore insist, realize the true love within. Don’t mistake magic for love.

If you are in constant need to be convinced that you are loved,

Or if you are constantly annoyed with your loved one for not meeting your expectations,

Or if you think that your loved one can’t handle your past,

Or if you feel jealous of imagining him/her happy with someone else,

Or if you have in your mind that in such and such conditions you might just walk out of the relationship,  Then take it for granted that you’ve never experienced true love. You are merely smitten by the magic. The delusive magic is barely a passing cloud. True love abides in eternity.

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10 thoughts on “Live life like everything is a miracle or nothing is

  1. So what do you think does arranged marriage finds better half in a soulfull way?as u said it took some time to sense and feel the real love ..how could we go for tieing the knot with a so called stranger☺

    Like

  2. Aishwarya How beautifully you have described the true love and only a person of your age i.e 80 years can express all this . I loved it and every bit of your explanation reminded me of the butterflies flying inside. Oh sorry i wrongly mentioned ur age as 80 instead of 18. Heheheheheheh

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice post there! I was getting an error when I tried to comment yesterday. I hope it passes through this time.
    Thanks for this important message. Only a handful of people know the difference between true love and whatever other lame thing they blindly believe. Thanks once again.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I like your thoughts, 100% true! 🙂 But there is a question in my head…
        Mother`s love is something we feel from the moment of birth. It is unconditional. A love between a man and a woman is different. I am wondering what are the beginnings of the true love if not butterflies, wooing and subconscious attitude to other person`s likes and dislikes… We can`t feel the pure true love from the beginning, from the moment we meet this person, can we? There is always lust, people influence each other. Let`s say it starts with this “magic” thing – then is it a matter of being totally honest at the begging (what can be a bit hard because subconscious is not something we can control) or rather accepting the original character of your partner revealed after “magic” disappears ( we need to face disappointment)? What do you think? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hello, Duckling 😉

          – Are you wondering about the beginning of true love?
          You may meet a person with whom you have a special connection. The kind of connection that doesn’t reduce with age, distance or changes in personality.
          It doesn’t have to be romantic – true love, by my recognition, goes beyond the definitions of relationship. Its pull is very fine/delicate but very deep, it’s as if the two of you are actually one and the same. It is, unfortunately, one of those things that are difficult to accept or recognize if someone hasn’t experienced it. So you might say that true love is subjective. As I said, it doesn’t happen instantaneously, It should gradually grow!

          -We can`t feel the pure true love from the beginning, from the moment we meet this person, can we? – No, from all that I have heard, known & seen and also from my personal experience. I call that Infatuation, that typically defines the beginning and early stages of a romantic relationship, is over, then a mindful effort to appreciate your partner and to keep your spark, bond, etc. alive and strong is necessary from both sides. And even then, you have to be lucky as in not having some external factor ruin things. Those external factors can be anything: friends, family, miscarriage, finance, religion, illness, etc.

          – Okay, so you start as a ” magic ” and being honest at the beginning/accepting the person just the way they are after that the magic disappears. Yes, of course, you will face disappointments.
          But at the same time, you have to feel good, even when things weren’t great. You have to feel worthy and self-confident. You could finally be yourself and love openly without fear of it coming to a screeching halt. Instead of diving in with reckless abandon, You should take enough time and built something strong.

          You should read the books of Robin Stern. From his books “The Gaslight Effect”
          “Perhaps the adrenaline will be gone. But is that so bad? What if seeing your new guy’s name on the caller ID made you smile deep in your heart instead of making your heart turn somersaults? What if being together brought you a sense of ease and peace instead of making you so nervous you couldn’t eat? What if your love no longer felt like a thrilling…adventure…but instead brought simply a comforting, secure, and enjoyable companionship?””

          I TORE UP READING THESE SENTENCES!

          In our society, we expect and often receive the best of everything.
          We don’t want food and drink for nourishment, we want it for our own enjoyment.
          We don’t simply just want a house, we want the biggest one on the block.
          We don’t want love, we want a soulmate.

          But if you want to be truly happy long-term, you need to know that true love will feel as explosive as fireworks. Being in lust is wonderful, but it’s also usually unstable and temporary. 🙂

          I believe true love should feel simply, normal. Normal may sound boring and easy word & kind of disappointing, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. By taking a step back and viewing things in their simplest form, I realized the best thing for me wasn’t the most glamorous. Today, I am grateful for a love and happiness that’s sustainable. My heart doesn’t race when my husband walks through the door; it quietly fills with joy. 🙂

          Like

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